Heaven's Door
by Kara Sterling
Summary: Redemption is something both Clarke and Bellamy seek. Irradiating Mt. Weather had never been their plan, but the ground had ways of twisting all good intentions. Though their people are safe, there are still matters to attend to. Lexa's betrayal cannot be ignored, nor can Bellamy's feelings for Clarke. Clarke x Bellamy.
1. Prologue

Prologue

"_May we meet again…"_

Bellamy's final words to her. Ones she felt unworthy of. He'd forgiven her, as she had him a long time ago. The unbidden memory surfaced. How she'd loathed him then. The choices he'd made, the senseless murder of those three hundred…but she understood now, she saw how easy it was to fall by the wayside. For her, it had also begun with a massacre. Three hundred and some Grounders slaughtered, their flesh broiled from their bones, their corpses indistinguishable from the next. She'd believed herself justified. To save her people, she would have done much more.

And she had.

_Finn_.

Clarke choked back a sob as his image flickered beside her. Weeks had passed without sight of him. Now, she welcomed back his ghost with a haunted smile. At least she wasn't alone. His silent presence was comforting, somehow. He hadn't abandoned her.

At the time, she'd truly believed that he'd left her no other choice. Raven had so desperately wanted her to stick that knife in Lexa's heart. But what would that have accomplished? The Grounders would have slaughtered her and her people. She'd done the only thing she could think of to save Finn the pain and torment reserved for him. It had been the hardest decision of her life, at least until Mt. Weather.

_God_, the faces. She saw them now. Another massacre. _Jasper_…

Clarke stumbled over a root and toppled to her knees. She had to banish these thoughts if she was to make it to the bunker tonight. Bellamy had asked where she meant to go. At the time, she hadn't known. Now she did. The answer had come to her as she gazed over Finn's ghostly visage. There was nowhere else she wanted to be.

Resolved, she pushed to her feet and began the trek through the thick brush and Grounder-infested land. There was once a time when wandering through the trees would have terrified her. Now, there was nothing but emptiness within her—a yawning chasm devoid of emotion and life. If she came across a Grounder, so be it. Let them be sucked into the darkness alongside her.

She scrambled up a small hill, and once at the top, she paused and glanced back over her shoulder. The forest was too thick to make anything out, but still, she took a moment to say a final goodbye to her friends and family.

Still, it wasn't her mother's face that took form, but Bellamy's.

"May we meet again," she whispered before quickly dashing away her tears.

* * *

Bellamy paced outside the Ark's medical wing. How he'd become this person—this champion—he'd never know. He paused and slanted a glance down the hallway. He _did_ know.

_Clarke_.

She'd taken a selfish, frightened boy and made him into someone worthwhile. Her faith in him had inspired him to take chances, to be brave, to fight for a single life. He'd stolen onto the drop ship with only his sister in mind, and as a result, he'd grown into something so much more.

And he had her to thank for that.

He would _not_ let her down.

"Anything?"

Bellamy turned at the sound of Sinclair's voice. Ever the sentry, the man came by every fifteen minutes to check on the patients. "Nothing yet."

Together, they turned toward the divider and waited patiently. Raven and Abby had been one of the first swept away by the medical staff. Bellamy's jaw tightened at the thought of the torture they'd undergone, all for their bone marrow. It had brought him no pleasure to irradiate level five of Mt. Weather, but he wouldn't allow the guilt of what they'd done to eat at their success. Their people were alive and safe, most of them, anyway.

"_I bare it so they don't have to._" Clarke's voice whispered through his thoughts.

Bellamy sighed and whipped a hand through his rumpled hair. Neither of them had wanted to make that choice, but Cage had left them no other choice. Bellamy's only regret was that the bastard had escaped.

The curtain fluttered and Sachin appeared. Haggard, he dabbed the back of his hand against his brow. "They'll be all right. They just need rest."

Bellamy nodded. They all needed a little rest. A few days without any disasters or emergencies would do them all good. Of course, he still had to deliver the news to Abby.

"How many returned with you?"

Bellamy shook his head. "We never got a final count. There were casualties, though."

Sachin nodded. "I gathered. Abby is asking to speak with Clarke." His eyes darted around the hallway. "Is she here?"

Bellamy swallowed, his stomach lined with dread as he imagined this conversation. Rather than respond, he swung his gun over his shoulder and pushed his way through the curtains.

Abby's face brightened for a brief moment before a slight frown puckered her lightly lined brow. "Clarke?"

At a loss for words, Bellamy stood facing her bed and shook his head. "She isn't here."

"Where is she?"

If only he knew. Though he'd never admit it aloud, he felt an uncanny pull toward her. It stunned him to realize that he _wanted_ to leave the Ark and seek her out. Odd how someone he had once despised had become his closest friend. The ground had a way of doing that, of taking the person you were and twisting them into something else. For him, it had made him into someone who fought for others. For Clarke, it had turned her into a leader and forced her to make the hard decisions. He'd told her once that it sucked to be in charge, but it had been worse for her. The weight of the treaty had rested on her shoulders. She had been the one to seal the truce in Finn's blood.

"Clarke…" Bellamy released a shaky breath. "…left."

Abby blinked before fresh tears slipped down her filthy cheeks.

"Where did she go?" Raven murmured from her own bed.

"I don't know. She didn't know."

Abby fell back against the bed and stared up at the ceiling. "I put too much pressure on her. I was just so afraid that I'd lose her."

"It isn't your fault," Raven said. "She'll come back."

Bellamy arched a brow. Would she? He felt the twist in his stomach at the thought. He _wanted_ her back, wanted to show her that they would forgive her for her choices, but he, more than anyone, understood that sometimes it was best to be alone.

"The drop ship," Abby murmured. "We should send a team, they can scout for her."

"No."

Both women propped up on their elbows and stared at him.

"What do you mean, no?" Abby demanded. "She's my daughter. She belongs here."

Bellamy sighed and leveled the Chancellor with a weighty stare. "What would you say to her?"

Clarke's mother swallowed, her dark eyes flitting between him and Raven. "That it wasn't her fault. That we understand—"

"No, you don't." He straightened and stepped closer to the foot of her bed, his stare unwavering. "None of you do."

"But you do?"

_Better than anyone_. "You weren't there, Abby. You didn't see her face when she…" His voice fell flat. "I helped her pull the lever to irradiate level five. I stood back and allowed her to kill President Wallace. It's not your forgiveness that she needs."

"Then what?" Raven asked, her voice angry.

"She needs to forgive herself," Abby whispered.

Bellamy didn't want to stand around discussing this. He had his own atonement to seek, but he had to make the Chancellor understand, his final gift to Clarke. "I was there with her. I saw the toll this war has taken on her. She's stronger than you, Abby. And braver than me. She just needs time."

And time was something they could give her. He only hoped that was the only thing she needed. He met Raven's gaze, silently pleading with her to understand. Her gaze lowered to her lap and she nodded. Everyone knew how much Finn had meant to Clarke, and Bellamy suspected that guilt would be the worst of all.

He'd envied that boy, once. To have someone like Clarke gaze up at him with such open adoration. But it was hard to envy the dead.

She just needed time. And they would give it to her.

* * *

**AN:** I recently watched this show and fell in love with Bellamy and Clarke. Of course, who didn't, right? So welcome to Heaven's Door. Hope you enjoy :)


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Clarke slid the bunker door shut with a heavy thump and leaned against it, her breath held. She'd forgotten about the dead Grounder, and now the smell haunted her, reminding her of a former happiness that had shattered alongside Finn's sanity.

She sucked in a breath through her mouth, not that it helped, and turned to face the lifeless lump sprawled in the middle of the floor. Finn had pulled a tarp over it—to spare his feelings or hers, she hadn't been sure. The blood was brown now, dried on the floor. She couldn't stay here.

Nighttime or not, the stench was putrid, and it was too dark to bury the body. Not that she wanted to touch it. This place held far too many memories for her. She'd come here for a moment of peace with Finn. To remember where they'd first been together, but it was tainted.

The dead Grounder was silent in death, and yet she heard his laughter echoing in her head. Everything was tainted. Finn had massacred the innocent to find her, and she had held that against him. But what had she done? He'd taken eighteen lives—she'd taken many, many more. Children, included.

Who was the monster, here?

Finn's ghost stepped toward the middle of the room and he gazed down on the body, sorrow dimming his eyes. She couldn't stay here.

Resigned, she moved through the room and grabbed what few supplies she'd needed. She hadn't taken anything from Camp Jaha, too afraid to cross the gate, to see their faces. She searched the shelves and grabbed a small pack and blanket, fresh clothes, and a flashlight. On her way out, a small leather bound book caught her eye. She reached for it, her fingers brushing the supple material. The pages were mostly blank, and those that weren't were irrelevant. Decided, she slid the book into her pack and grabbed some pencils from the table.

Without another glance back, she left the bunker, knowing Finn would follow. Someday soon she would need to return and attend to the body. She refused to leave it there, rotting on the floor.

_Tomorrow,_ she promised herself. She wouldn't camp too far away, close enough to be back by first light. Perhaps the bunker was tainted, but it was the only place she'd felt safe, the only place she'd felt loved. She refused to let the dead Grounder corrupt their sanctuary. Both she and Finn had done the unspeakable.

It was time to forgive him. Forgiving herself was an entirely different matter.

* * *

A soft knock roused Bellamy. He lifted his head from the pillow and glared at the door. He hadn't been asleep—far from it, but that didn't mean he appreciated the disturbance. A few moments of peace, was that so much to ask? They'd only just returned. For him, it'd been countless time within Mt. Weather. He'd been deloused, scrubbed raw until the water ran red, then hung upside down and drained like an animal. How he'd found the strength to take over Mt. Weather without any time to recuperate, he'd never know. Adrenaline and determination? Sheer stubbornness?

Either way, all he wanted was a few moments to himself.

"Bell, come on."

_Octavia_. "Yeah."

The door cracked open and his sister stared back at him. Or at least, the person his sister had become. He wasn't the only one that had gone through drastic changes. They became what the ground demanded of them. For him, it'd been a leader and champion of his people. For her, it'd been a warrior. It ate at him that she'd learned her ways at the Grounder's hands, but at least they'd made her strong. Stronger than him,

At least she'd washed the black paint from her face and taken out the braids. The girl who stood before him was his baby sister.

Bellamy pushed to his feet, his shoulders slumping with exhaustion.

Octavia hovered by the door for a brief moment before she slipped into the room and wound her arms around him. Relief eased the knots in his back as he held her close.

"I was worried for you," he admitted. "Raven told me you were at Ton DC."

Getting their people home had been his primary task. He hadn't taken the time to speak with his sister along the way. And when she tipped her head back, he saw the pain and horror in her eyes.

"She knew, Bell. She _knew_."

He nodded. _Clarke_. They'd learned of the bomb through his intel, but he'd thought she'd gone to stop it. "She had no choice, O."

Anger tightened her face. "Don't give me that."

"What would you have done?"

"I would have warned everyone!" She shoved away from his chest and started to pace the length of his room. "So many died, Bell!"

"To save those in Mt. Weather."

Octavia pivoted and glared at him from across the room. "To save _you_."

Bellamy blinked. "Come again?"

"Clarke didn't care say a word about the others in Mt. Weather. She said it was to protect you. If they'd evacuated, Mt. Weather would have known we had an inside man."

She hadn't been wrong—they would have. But they'd found out eventually. It changed nothing, though. They'd rescued their people. It was over.

"It's done, Octavia. Let it go."

"Let it go?" She shook her head. "You're as bad as her. Those were Lincoln's people."

He nodded, but didn't speak.

"You really don't care?"

Oh, he cared. But if he'd been in Clarke's shoes, he might have done the same.

"She trusted Lexa, Bellamy! She trusted—"

"The very same people you chose to follow."

Octavia's mouth snapped shut, her eyes wide.

Bellamy watched his sister, noting the steel that was now her spine, the strength in her shoulders and arms. "You became Indra's second. You painted your face and wore your hair like them. You fought side-by-side with them. That's the only reason you're upset about this. Clarke had to make the hard choices. Before you start accusing her of being heartless, put yourself in her shoes."

Octavia scoffed and shook her head. "I can't believe you."

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. "If you came here to get a rise out of me, it's not going to happen. We all made our choices and now we have to live with them."

"You've changed," she accused.

"Ditto, little sister."

"You're in love with her."

Bellamy blinked. "Excuse me?"

"You don't think I see it?" A rough laugh tumbled from her lips. "I've always seen it. Maybe you don't realize—"

"I am _not_ in love with Clarke."

Octavia pinned him with a mocking stare. "It'll never happen between you two."

"What are you going on about?"

"She murdered Finn, Bell! You think she's just going to bounce back from that and walk into your arms?"

His brow creased. "I think you need to get some sleep."

Octavia laughed again and did another loop around the room. "And here I thought you were intelligent. Good night, big brother."

Bellamy didn't respond. He simply watched from his post as Octavia slipped out of his room and closed the door behind him with a slow click. _In love with Clarke?_ He almost laughed. She was his closest friend, sure, but that was all. Yes, he cared about her and worried about her. Laughing under his breath, he dropped down onto his bed.

He tried to put himself in Clarke's shoes. Would he have made the same choice as her? Drop a bomb on Ton DC? Octavia was right, there were always other choices—but it wasn't easy to see them in that dire moment when a decision had to be made. It was easy to look in from the outside and point out mistakes. Clarke had done the best she could with the situation provided. Who knew the massacre that might have happened if they'd learned of his presence earlier? It was become of him that they'd managed to bring down the acid fog and hold off the torture of their friends.

No, Clarke had made the right choice. Now, if only he could tell her that.

* * *

Clarke dabbed the sweat from her brow and removed the makeshift mask she'd made from her mouth. It'd taken all morning, but she'd managed to drag the Grounder from the bunker and bury him. All that remained was cleaning out the bunker. Part of her feared she would never get the smell out, but she refused not to try.

A couple days airing it out would help. As for the blood, she wasn't sure how she'd get that up. It wasn't as though there were cleaning products just lying around.

She rose from the cairn, her hand falling to the pistol at her hip when a twig snapped just off in the distance. Technically, she had a truce with the Grounders, but if she'd learned anything from her time on Earth, it was that there were other things out there.

Hell, she and Lexa had nearly been ripped to shred by a gorilla not a few weeks ago. Who knew what other beasts the forest housed?

Another twig snapped. Clarke dropped low, her gaze raking through the thick coppice.

Muttered words came next. Trigedasleng, if she wasn't mistaken. All her time spent with the Grounders and she'd only learned a few phrases. Whoever was out there, they spoke too quickly for her to decipher anything.

A pair of Grounders came into view, one being dragged by the other. The last thing Clarke wanted was to startle or panic them, but she could see one was injured. She rose slowly, her hands help up so they could see she meant no harm.

She knew the moment they spotted her. The one Grounder reached for their blade, shouting something across the distance.

"I am Clarke, of the Sky People," she called back. Their words fell silent and Clarke took it upon her to approach slowly. "What happened?"

"Reaper…" the Grounder rasped. "They say…they say you can help."

She nodded. "I can, but we need to get him someplace safe."

The Grounder shook his head. "Ton DC gone. We have a small village…"

"Take me with you. I'll help, I swear it."

The Grounder studied her before his gaze shifted to his friend. Clarke followed, noting the blood shot eyes and bloodstained face. They'd found Lincoln much the same and she'd brought him back. But it wouldn't be easy.

"We need to hurry," Clarke told him. "Can we get there before he wakes? He needs to be restrained."

A firm nod. "Come, Clarke of the Sky People."

She glanced back at the bunker once more, noting that Finn stood next to the door, silently pleading with her to stay with him. She couldn't. Finn was gone. She swallowed and shouldered her pack.

"Goodbye," she whispered to him before she vanished into the trees with the Grounder.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Bellamy scrubbed his calloused palm down his face and sighed. Since his sister's visit a few nights ago, he hadn't been able to silence Octavia's voice. The faces of those they'd lost at his and Clarke's hand haunted him, but it was a pain he bore silently, something he and Clarke shared. The eight hour trek home from Mount Weather had been rife with relieved laughter and grateful tears, but few had noticed the newborn reticence that Clark had carried.

He knew what it meant to be haunted, but irradiating level five was a choice he would have made again. Had they backed down, the camp would be mourning rather than celebrating their children's return. He hated that Cage had forced them to such extreme measures, but he'd left them no other choice, and he was quickly tiring of dwelling on their choice. As he'd told Octavia, it was finished. Now was the time to move on rather than accuse. The pained glare Jasper wore was enough for one lifetime.

Tanned knuckles rapped against the table. "This a private party or is there room for one more?"

Bellamy shot Wick a lopsided grin before reaching for the dented metal cup that sat before him. "The more the merrier."

"Good." The engineer dropped down onto the nearest chair and leaned back. "Shouldn't you be inside right now?"

A light frowned twisted Bellamy's face. "What?"

Wick gestured toward the Ark. "You're missing a very important conversation."

Bellamy followed his gaze, unsure what he was searching for.

"Come on."

Together, the two rose and Wick led the way, his limp still pronounced. They passed small clusters of family, all content to sit back and relax as they reacquainted themselves with their children. There was a part of him that envied them, having family to return to.

Wick pushed their way into the medical wing and Bellamy followed, his brows lifting when he caught sight of Kane sitting next to Abby's bed, his chin resting on his hands. Silence fell over the room the moment they noticed him.

"Bellamy."

His gaze swept over Raven, who lay against her pillows. He knew her well enough to know she was intrigued, her eyes sparkling with intelligence. In her lap lay a rumpled notebook, which teemed with cramped scribbles.

"Bellamy," Abby repeated. "We were just discussing Mount Weather."

Ah, his not-so-favorite topic. With a nod, he approached Raven and gave a silent inquiry after her health.

"I'm fine," Raven murmured. "Another day and I should be out of here."

She didn't look fine. Neither did Wick for that matter. But rather than dwell on their injuries, he turned back to the two Chancellors.

"Raven was just detailing the technology she and Wick had spotted in Mount Weather."

_Technology, of course_. "What about it?" Bellamy asked.

"Well, our memories are a bit hazy," Raven chimed in, "what with the explosions and torture and whatnot, but there was a fair bit left behind."

Bellamy arched a brow at Abby. "And let me guess, you want to claim it?"

"Not her," Kane spoke up. "Me. That's better than abandoning it to collect radiated dust, wouldn't you agree?"

Sure. Truth be told, Bellamy hadn't given it much thought since their return. There was room for only so many, and for some reason, at this stage, they all revolved around Clarke.

"Look." Raven proffered the notebook. "The generators alone would be a large help, but the laptops and medical equipment…"

Bellamy studied the pages. He knew what was there better than anyone. The tech wasn't by any means advanced, but in the hands of Wick or Raven, there was a great deal that could be done with it. Only one problem… "Most of this equipment requires electricity. Not to mention that it would require most of the camp to carry back the generators alone."

Their silence was telling.

Bellamy lifted his head, his gaze raking over the Chancellors. Dread settled in the pit of his stomach as he realized what they'd _actually_ been discussing. "You want to move the camp _into_ Mount Weather."

Abby offered him a wan smile, the bruises beneath her eyes darkening for a brief moment. "It's our best option, Bellamy. It's a secure location."

"But currently without sufficient power, or have you forgotten that?"

"Wick and Raven…"

Bellamy turned to them. "What are the chances of you repairing them?"

Wick chuckled. "Slim to nil. It's not like we're geniuses or anything. Oh, wait…yes we are."

"You think you could do it?"

"Give us enough time and we can do anything."

"And so, you think that we should slough our people _back_ into the hell that imprisoned their children for the past few months."

Kane pushed to his feet with a sigh. "Bellamy, you and Clarke did a fantastic job back there. It's because of you two that we're alive and what's left of our people have been reunited. We underestimated the two of you when we arrived. We didn't know how harsh the ground was. We won't make that same mistake again."

"Pretty speech," Bellamy grumbled. "But what happens when this blows up in your face? Who's going to clean up your mess this time?"

"Bellamy," Abby hissed. "This is our decision. You're not in charge here."

Words he'd heard from her mouth countless times when speaking to Clarke. They'd been wrong then and they were wrong now. Though she wore the Chancellor pin, it was to him the people looked.

"Son." A heavy hand fell on his shoulder. "You can't deny that it would be safer for us there rather than here, in a wide open field."

Bellamy cocked his head and stared at Kane's hand before shrugging it off. "I'm not your son. We can't leave our home. You chose to stay and fight against the Grounders. Now you want to abandon it."

"The decision has been made," Abby announced. "With the dam, there will be power. Housing options for families, a medical wing—"

"And hey, a large dungeon brimming with cages for when the children misbehave, right?"

Abby blinked. "You know better than that."

Bellamy sighed and raked a hand down his face. They were right, deep down he knew that. Mount Weather was fortified and had everything they could ever want. Yet, part of him rebelled against the idea.

Silently, he spoke his true fear. Clarke was out there. He didn't know where. If they packed up and left, what would she find when she returned? Would she think they'd left for the City of Light? He couldn't imagine she'd contemplate them relocating to Mount Weather.

"It's better for us, Bellamy. Truly." And it was. His gaze met Abby's, and he saw within the same unspoken fear as his own. "We can't ask our people to suffer waiting for her," Abby finally whispered. "She's a smart girl, she'll find us."

Bellamy gave in with a silent curse. "It won't be easy. There are things that will need to be done and it's going to take some time."

Abby nodded. "Kane and I were just about to discuss that. We'll relocate the camp to the main door. From there, we'll divide into teams."

"The bodies will need to be removed," Bellamy sighed. "That won't be an easy job." The room fell silent as he recalled level five. "The generators need repair as well as level two…" At their questioning looks, he shrugged and chuckled darkly to himself. "I blew it up."

"Uh, I'm no politician…" Wick insert himself into the conversation. "But what about the Grounders?"

Bellamy nodded. He hadn't forgotten about them, either. He just wasn't sure how to proceed at this point.

"What about them?" Abby asked. "We have a truce now."

"No, Clarke has a truce," Bellamy muttered. "Clarke made the agreement with them. Clarke was the one that worked closely with them and made the necessary sacrifices. And Clarke is the one they betrayed at Mount Weather."

Kane shook his head. "The truce was for Grounders and all Sky People."

Bellamy laughed. "If you believe that, then you haven't learned a damn thing since being here. The Grounders do not like us. As for the truce, who knows how things stand between us. Not to mention, us moving into a fortified location and taking over Mount Weather might rub them the wrong way. We aren't the only wronged parties here. And don't forget: Mount Weather has been an enemy of the Grounders longer than we have. They turned their people into Reapers."

"We worked together at Ton DC—"

"Circumstantial," Bellamy impeded. "You think they aren't wondering the same thing? Wondering where we all stand now that Lexa betrayed Clarke? You can bet every Grounder out there is trying to decide if we're open season again or not."

"Another reason why Mount Weather is ideal."

Bellamy nodded. In that respect, he agreed. "It's going to be tricky. The guards will need to be armed at all times. They must _not_ shoot first and ask questions later."

"Not to mention that Mount Weather isn't foolproof," Raven said. "The Grounders know how to take out the power supply. It isn't an impenetrable as you all think."

Bellamy nodded. Though they didn't have access to weapons like bombs or guns, they weren't without resources, and the Grounders were determined enough to find a way, if they felt the need. "Shit," he murmured. "If we're going to do this…"

"We need Clarke," Raven finished.

* * *

Thanks to all the followers, favorites, and reviews. Just a quick chapter I threw together before work.

AN: just a small note to remember that this is fanfiction, and that I will be taking some liberties with the story. I may change some things to fit how I want this story to go. Hope you enjoy though! :)


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